routine

before i became a mama i often heard about routine and how important it was to get your baby on a schedule as soon as possible and stick to that schedule. apparently it makes everyone's life easier. before hunter i totally bought into that theory.

and then there was him

and we decided right off the bat that we weren't doing the breastfeed every three to four hours. we decided that he would dictate when we breastfed. and he did. and it generally worked out to every three or four hours, but there was no way we were waking him when he was sleeping. and then he got sick and well screw worrying about a schedule when you are dealing with a major health issue.

on top of hunter's health issue, i've been dealing with one of my own. i haven't been very vocal about it because i keep thinking it's going to magically get better but it isn't. i hurt my back delivering hunter. like BAD. like i haven't been able to walk upright since the epidural wore off. i've been in physio and massage twice a week for nearly eight weeks now. the pain is debilitating. i spend the majority of my time in bed when i'm home and suffer in agony when i'm out. we had so many things planned before he was born and basically i've tried not to let this stop me. but now i must. tomorrow i have to go to the doctor and request hardcore pain meds. physio's orders. i also have to request a referal for an MRI and to see a back surgeon. i may not require surgery but apparently it takes a year to get in so my physiotherapist would rather i get the ball rolling now. it'll likely mean the end of our breastfeeding journey if i do in fact get hardcore meds.

there has been one blessing in all of this. it has meant hunter gets undivided attention from me 24/7 so that's good. since i became pregnant and was put on bedrest denis has and continues to take care of EVERYTHING. i'm sending the poor man to an all inclusive for a week when i'm back on my feet. this definitely isn't how i imagined the early months of motherhood, but our baby is healthy and that's what matters most.

given those circumstances it's easy to avoid the routine. he'll often just get played out and pass out on the bed beside me. he is such an easy and flexible baby i keep thinking if it ain't broke why fix it? but the voices in my head would be telling me "but what about all the literature that says the schedule is so important?"

it's been on my mind a lot this past week because i recently read the three month mark is so important for getting that routine going so it's well in place by the child is six months old. our kid is perfectly content going to bed at midnight or 1 a.m. he gets up for one feeding and then will sleep until anywhere from 8 to 11 a.m. why mess with this? so a few days ago i decided screw it! we are going to go with what works for us as a family. if the kid wants to be a night owl and sleep in late like his parents then SO BE IT. i let it go. at least for now.

and what happens next is EXACTLY the reason this kid has the nickname turkey...he put himself on his own damn schedule last night. HA! the little dude fell asleep at 7. got up for a feeding at around 3. then slept until 7 this morning. WHAT A TURKEY. i mean i'm not complaining, believe me, but it's just so ironic that as soon as i decided NO SCHEDULE FOR NOW he has his own plans.

after physio tonight we came home, fed him, bathed and massaged him and about three seconds post massage he was sound asleep. hmmmm maybe we will be on a schedule afterall.

i must say he is one happy baby. i love it. the kid smiles so big some days i think his face will break. today he was even HAPPIER. we sang to raffi and played HARD for an hour straight after his morning feed and then he PASSED OUT.

so give it to me straight people - is a routine REALLY that important or should we just keep going with the flow? also - i've heard about this four month sleep regresison business where kids go back to sleeping like a newborn. the only problem is he has never really slept like a newborn. aside from maybe five nights in total, he has always been a once a night waker. does this mean we are home free?

and just because no post is complete without a picture, here is a crappy iphone pic of him passed out on daddy's shoulder last night...

night lovelies

Comments

[Laura Carew]

I believe that kids (and babies) crave routine. That being said, the routine does not need to be so rigid that you feel stuck at home. For example, Cate started sleeping through the night at 9 weeks. She went to bed around 11pm, woke up at 6am. She continued this pattern until she was 10 months old when she started going to daycare and needed more sleep. Around 6 months, she started going back to bed after her 6 am bottle and slept until 9. This allowed us to go out and I really didn't mind her being a night owl since she was so easy going. We did not, however, have any scheduled naps. If I was lucky, she would nap in her car seat when I went shopping (everyday... but that's another story!).

Now that we're onto number 2, things are completely different. Obviously, Cate had a set bedtime before Maddie was born and so I couldn't wait until Maddie started sleeping through the night so we could have a routine. Sure enough, around 4 months old she started sleeping 10-12 hours a night (awesome, I know). Both kids go to sleep between 7:30-8:30 every night. Cate wakes around 6am, and Maddie wakes between 7-8am. I am also starting to notice that Maddie could use a set afternoon nap. I'm not strict about where it happens (carseat, pod, crib, someone's arms), just as long as she gets a little down time, otherwise the witching hour is BRUTAL!

All in all, just find what works for you and see if you can keep it up a few days in a row. Hunter will tell you what he likes :) Besides, the moment you get a routine established, he will change it...

[katie squires]

I like routine, I think it makes things easier for me :) I crave it, even now. Sometimes I say we need to leave somewhere early because of the 'kids' but really its me :) LOL

I am hoping and praying that you get relief from the pain soon and that your back heals. In the meantime your doing an amazing job of staying positive and counting your blessings :)